Yemen (I think)

Yemen's three favourite things, all rather uncharitably banned from my office

I am in Sana'a, capital of Yemen.  It is no doubt a fascinating place, but I couldn't tell you as security restrictions are such that I am not allowed to walk the 100 yards to work in the morning.  On the plus side my conversational arabic is getting a work-out and I can tell you plenty about the families and home towns or all of our drivers.  The security is justified, as Yemen is currently the kidnapping capital of the world.  Fear not - there are two principal kinds of kidnapping.  The first is courtesy of Al Qaeda, who are so hot right now around here, and let's not think too much about that kind.  Tribal kidnappings, though, are meant to be a right lark - your captors will be demanding the release of a prisoner or a new cinema or free milk for kids in schools, and they will treat you like a guest until their modest demands are met.  One fellow I heard of was even updating his Facebook status while in captivity - I don't know if he even thought it worth mentioning that he had been kidnapped.  Even better is the story of the German chap who was kidnapped about thirty years ago and still goes back to Yemen every couple of years to visit his captors.

In fact, I was probably in more danger in Lebanon, as here there is little chance of getting alcohol poisoning, breaking a leg while skiing or impaling oneself on a bottle of absinthe after slipping while dancing on a bar.

Yemen is the poorest country in the middle east, mostly as far as I can tell due to qat, a leaf that you chew to get high, or to chill out or something.  90% of Yemenis spend about 70% of their time with cheeks full of it, often managing to cram in a cigarette as well.  Government buildings close at lunchtime as the workers usually follow their meal with a bit of a chew, and when they look at their watches it's time to go to work the next morning.  Nearly half of Yemen's water supply goes to watering the thirsty qat trees, leading to predictions of Sana'a running out of water altogether by 2017, a frightening thought that the Yemenis need to chew a lot of qat to forget about.