Independence minus 10 days

 On 9th July South Sudan becomes the world's newest baby nation, and Juba is preparing.  The airport is currently a one-storey hut with one room for leaving and one for arriving; luggage is tossed through a hole in the wall.  The skeleton of a huge new terminal building has been slowly growing over the last three years but work is now going on round the clock to transform it into a shimmering temple to aviation that will no doubt collapse on top of the thirty heads of state due to arrive for the party.

The shabby countdown to referendum clock tower has been replaced by a swish countdown to independence clock tower donated by the Chinese, who I'm sure don't want anything in return for the $9bn they've donated to the baby shower.  I believe this money has been earmarked for several enormous guns which will be taken to the border and pointed at North Sudan.  Anything left over may go on ministerial stretch Hummers, or perhaps a monorail.

You'll have noticed that North Sudan, upset to be losing a good chunk of itself, isn't playing ball with the independence celebrations and has been bombing the hell out of selected Southern towns.  At the moment it is refusing to hand over the region of Abyei, like a jilted lover who won't face facts and refuses to return a favourite borrowed sweater.

A consequence of Khartoum's moodiness is that there are dire shortages of fuel, food and premium-strength European lager.  The fuel problem is hitting Juba hardest, and hoarders are filling up spare bins, washing up bowls and wellington boots in the belief that it will get worse.  Some petrol stations are refusing to allow you to fill jerry cans, but this isn't a problem as no one will notice if you get your driver to make several trips and spend half his day lying under the car syphoning petrol into empty baked bean tins.

5 things I've learned so far from 7 months in South Sudan

Putting your hand in a ceiling fan will lead to a broken finger.  It will also lead to embarrassment when done during a meeting at which the entire management team is present.

Tiny bugs can get into unopened packets of nuts and breed within.  The chances of you noticing before eating any of the nuts is around 50%.

You can't really play football in the rain in Sudan.  It poured with about 10 minutes to go in one of our games and within seconds the clay in the pitch had turned into glue, the hail was in everyone's eyes and we were staggering around like blind men wearing deep sea diving boots.

If you accidentally swig from a bottle of kerosene in the belief that it is water, lighting a cigarette immediately afterwards to calm you after your ordeal will not make you explode.

You can swim in the Nile if you watch out for crocodiles and don't swallow too much water, but you don't want to stray too far from the bank or the current will take you to Khartoum.  Seeing as virtually no expat in Juba has a Sudanese visa, a watery arrival in Khartoum is unlikely to go down well with the authorities there, who assume that most movements that Westerners make are an attempt on the President's life.